We’re all thinking it, and many of us are saying it: Netflix, what are you thinking?

The division of Netflix into two brands — one for streaming, one for DVD-by-mail — seems to have rocked the nation. As always, people are averse to change. The Netflix customer got used to a certain level of service for an incredible price, then studios realized there was much more profit to be made for licensing their content, and prices went up for Netflix and ultimately the customer. It stinks, but so it goes.

The business decision is not what the Name-caller is questioning. What interests me is the attention the new DVD-by-mail brand name is getting. There appears to be a visceral dislike of the name Qwikster. Some say it sounds straight out of the 90s; others say it just sounds lame. What’s going on here?

I’ll start with what I see as the biggest problem: The name says almost nothing. The only communication point conveyed by Qwikster is speed. Speed is great, and yes, those DVDs do arrive in my mailbox posthaste, but a much better communication point to convey here would been something even more literal: specifically, movies, DVDs, or mail. Netflix isn’t a particularly exciting name, but it works well because it clearly describes the service of providing flicks through the internet. Qwikster could be anything: muffin mix, an ISP, a low-budge sports car, an insulin pen, you name it.

The rest of the issues in this name can be rolled into the aforementioned general consumer complaints of lameness and 90sness. Each element of the name is dated and/or over-saturated. In fact, The Simpsons has been parodying this type of name with its Kwik-E-Mart convenience store since about 1990. We can see a very similar treatment of the word “quick” here with the use of “w” and the omission of “c.” We’re also reminded of good old Nestlé Quik (emphasis on old — the product is now known as Nesquik). The “-ster” suffix can be fun when used intelligently (e.g. Porsche Boxster), but in this case it is wasted.

Another thing wasted here is an opportunity: the opportunity to tie into the Netflix name. Something in the vein of Mailflix or Postflix may have been a better direction. Even Netquix or QwikFlix might have been a slight improvement if they insisted on a lame name. I realize they’re attempting to clearly separate the two brands, but frankly their DVD-by-mail service was well-loved by customers and the Netflix name had many positive associations.

Alas, here we are. Lame. 90s. Qwikster.

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